This evening has been a
challenging one to say the least. As I was finishing up my mound of homework I
decided to text a few friends to see if I could tag along on
their plans for the night. One friend let me know that she had a date and another said she was turning in early cause she's had an exhausting week. We
continued to talk, after a few meaningless conversation she said something that helped me come to a
realization about a dear friend. For me it was a shock.
You see I love my friends. I will do anything for them. Sometimes this isn't so good because I become the muck on the bottom of their shoes, I always forgive and open my arms. You see I realized that I was losing a friend. Her and I have become distant over the past couple of weeks and things just didn't seem to click. A few different people told me to just give up that I deserve better. Well I can't just give up. On Monday her and I are going to get to together and I'm going to tell her how I feel about how things have been going. And hopefully all will be good. If not I am sure I will cry but as I have learned crying is good for you.
Tonight while I was trying to cope with the terms that I had come to I decided the best place to turn for comfort was my Heavenly Father. I don't have my family out here and all my good friends are a distance away (besides Kate), I sought comfort from where I knew I could get it. After a prayer and a feeling of comfort I turned to LDS.org and looked up some articles on friendship, in hopes that I could better myself from this whole kit and kaboodle. I read a couple different ones, one was about friendships in the bible, one was about eternal friendships (spouses) and the last one was about being a friend. I liked this one the most. It talked about how it is our responsibility to be a friend. One part that I loved was, "No one wants to become a “project”; we all want spontaneously to be loved. And, if we are to have friends, we want them to be genuine and sincere, not “assigned." I don't want to be that friend that no one wants around. If that means we hug and go our separate ways than so be it. For now I will just be a friend.
So after many tears and smeared mascara, I smile. I just want to say that I am so grateful for all my blessings. I know that the Lord has given me the gift to love so that I can reach out to those who need it even if it is only for a few moments. I am grateful for friends that are willing to listen and love me enough to. I am grateful for my family and the many sacrifices they make and have made for me. I love my Heavenly Father and I know with out a doubt this is the true church. I know that we have a prophet that is here on the earth to help guide us back to our Heavenly Father. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Always Smiling,
~Hannah~
Oh by the way the name of that article is: "Friendship: A Gospel Principle" Given by Elder Marlin K. Jensen in the May 1999 Ensign