All because two people fell in love...
LOVE IS NOT PERFECT
Not only is it not perfect it isn't easy. You have to look the imperfections and understanding that everything successful in life takes work. We talked a lot about making those choices now with your future spouse or spouse to make life later easier. We came up with a long list of all sorts of adjustments that will be made after marriage. We talked about how important talking is. Now this is so true talking about those things and trying to come to a decision on how those things will be handled is a huge step and helping things work in your marriage.
Now applying this to me and Nick is kind of fun but hard at the same time because men DON'T TALK! I am coming to an understanding that at a certain point you've got to keep asking questions, otherwise you will get know where. I am so glad that we discussed that in class.
My second lesson of the week
FORGET ABOUT YOU-
President Kimball
We talked about how a lot of issues in marriage are caused by selfishness. When you forget about his or her problems and think about your own. Then you see that some issues could be completely avoided because you are more aware that the issue may be your stubbornness or your lack of listening. I see that in my own relationship, on occasion Nick will do something that really rubs me the wrong way so my response is to shut off. He will spend the next hour trying to get it out of me and I will refuse to say something is bothering me, which is so dumb. If I would just tell him what the heck it is that is bothering me then he could work on making it better. What gets me sometimes is I'll ask him the small things I do that bother him and he says that there isn't anything, which is also dumb. Anyhow over time we work through it and after each little spat it improves.
So the message of last week is Love is not perfect and stop being so selfish!
So guys give me you thoughts... and help my grade and comment.
I have learned that in my marriage neither party will talk unless we feel our environment is safe. We have set up our own boundaries for a safe environment and encourage you and Nick to found your boundaries in which you feel safe to talk. It wasn't an easy process to found our boundaries, but once we did our discussions went smoother with an end decision we where both happy with. To give you an example our boundaries are we need to be honest, loving, understanding, forgiving and if either of us is having a hard time with with one of those feelings we more the discussion to a later date.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is the hardest thing I've stepped into so far in my life, but it's the most rewarding. With all the imperfections and challenges there's a sense of unity and love that makes it all worth it.