Communication

So I think that all men don't know the concept of communication. Whenever I go to Nick trying to talk about something serious I always end up get frustrated. The man doesn't talk! Last time I told him that I wasn't going to live my life full of "I don't know"s. Nick just shrugged his shoulders and we went back to life. Ugh, every time we talk it gets better. I have now realized that it is going to be a while before our communication was perfect if it ever gets there. We are always honest and we do talk about the hard stuff so I think we are better off than most.

Anyhow, in class last week we talked about communication. It was all basic stuff that we've all heard before. With the exception of a few things. One that stuck out with me above all was HALT, hungry, angry, lonely, tired; if you are any of these things then it is not the time to talk. Don't ever demand to resolve something before going to bed. It is better to go to bed and talk about it in the morning, with a night's rest it may not even be a problem. Remember that in every situation everyone understands what was said in a slightly different manner. And "own" the message, don't beat around the bush.

Well I've thrown out a bunch of random thoughts. Feel free to throw out some advise and leave a comment.

MAYDAY!!!

Family crisis, it can make or break a family. Now every family experiences a crisis at one point in time or another. Now it is how you handle it that makes the difference, if you turn to each other and begin working as a team and relying family. Now if you start blaming each other and turning your back it is going to fail. I guess the best I can do to display this is to share a personal experience.

Last October my dad was involved in a horseback riding accident. In the end he ended up shattering his femur, breaking four vertebra, and nine ribs. Now my dad was in the hospital for a long long time. There was a lot of different trails that came along with that. We all came together the best we could to help the best we could. And because of that we are a stronger family. We know that we can make it through. My dad is walking now with a cane and driving again. It is was during this trial that my family has grown its strongest.

I hope that as it comes time for my family to grow it will be strong enough to make it through trials like the one with my dad.

Intimacy in Marriage

Wawhoo I get to write about sex. It is so funny, I feel like talking about sex isn't that big of a deal because I grew up knowing about it. I was exposed to it in 5th grade when we had sex education. I remember walking into class with a pad and deodorant sitting on my desk. From then on it wasn't a big deal. I could talk to my sisters or my friends about it and if there was an important question I could turn to my mom. It never really phased me. It surprises me when I get asked by different people different things that I have learned about sex. What it all comes down to is that I have known from a very early age that sex is good in marriage, not before.

Now I am not judging or saying you are a horrible person if you didn't wait till marriage, that isn't the case. This what I believe to be true. My book states all these benefits of waiting, studies have been done proving that if you wait sex is better and occurs more often than if you don't. You are less likely to have a divorce... too bad people don't hear about these things in high school. Well that is my take on that. My marriage isn't far away and I am like every other person I can't wait to share myself completely with the man of my dreams!

Don't forget comments.

... Oh and this is from the week before last, I guess I forgot to post it.

Marriage

All because two people fell in love...

Very interesting discussion last week. Marriage, it so complex. I have spent my whole life dreaming and planning for it. And I am so not prepared. It is so so much more. My biggest lesson from last week that

LOVE IS NOT PERFECT

Not only is it not perfect it isn't easy. You have to look the imperfections and understanding that everything successful in life takes work. We talked a lot about making those choices now with your future spouse or spouse to make life later easier. We came up with a long list of all sorts of adjustments that will be made after marriage. We talked about how important talking is. Now this is so true talking about those things and trying to come to a decision on how those things will be handled is a huge step and helping things work in your marriage.

Now applying this to me and Nick is kind of fun but hard at the same time because men DON'T TALK! I am coming to an understanding that at a certain point you've got to keep asking questions, otherwise you will get know where. I am so glad that we discussed that in class.

My second lesson of the week

FORGET ABOUT YOU-

President Kimball

We talked about how a lot of issues in marriage are caused by selfishness. When you forget about his or her problems and think about your own. Then you see that some issues could be completely avoided because you are more aware that the issue may be your stubbornness or your lack of listening. I see that in my own relationship, on occasion Nick will do something that really rubs me the wrong way so my response is to shut off. He will spend the next hour trying to get it out of me and I will refuse to say something is bothering me, which is so dumb. If I would just tell him what the heck it is that is bothering me then he could work on making it better. What gets me sometimes is I'll ask him the small things I do that bother him and he says that there isn't anything, which is also dumb. Anyhow over time we work through it and after each little spat it improves.

So the message of last week is Love is not perfect and stop being so selfish!

So guys give me you thoughts... and help my grade and comment.

Love

In honor of Valentines... NOT. We actually talked about love last week in class. We talked about the dating and courtship and moved on through to the different types of love.

So how do I describe love now that I am an "expert" on the manner, love to me is more than a feeling it is a willingness to give of yourself without thought to another person. I also believe that love has many different meanings and feelings. It like a box of crayons. You know that you can turn to your box of crayons and find the color that you need whether it be to make a valentine card or to make a card of sympathy for a funeral. Do I love Nick the same way I love my baby sister, no but there are characteristics of each of those loves that intertwine. Just like you may use a green crayon on both cards.

I have done some of my own research last week on love. Last week I had a dear friend pass away in a motorcycle accident. I loved my boss he was very dear to me, he took care of me when I needed taking care of, he helped me when I needed help, he laughed with me when laughing was all we could do. Brother Budge was a great example of all types of love. He was madly deeply in love with his wife. He cared deeply for his children. He loved all of us that worked for him at the library. Because this past week I dealt with a lot of mourning I was given some great advice, " Death without sorrow is like life without love." We all need love. We all crave love. With Brother Budge's death I found it hard to express all my feelings even to Nick, so I turned to the Lord and in the end I found a book which quotes the scriptures a lot. In 1Corinthians 13:4-7 it is speaking of Charity but the word love is often exchanged out so that the verse reads,

"Love suffereth long, and is kind; love envieth not, love vauntheth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, us not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoice not in iniquity, but rejoice in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hoepth all things, endureth all things."

When you find your companion love makes things possible that you never thought possible. Suddenly you see the world in another light. But you've got to remember that just because you are in love doesn't mean that things will always be easy, love is an ongoing project that takes time and effort from both parties. With that being said the Lord wants us to love meaning energy put into love is worthy energy.

So those were the crazy ramblings of my mind about love. I love you have a wonderful Valentines with your sweet heart because I know I will.... Also don't forget comments. Those suckers are needed.

PS. Nickoli Blaine Angiuli Jr I love you!

Woman & Men

This week we talked a lot about gender roles. I want to say first that everything that I say is the ramblings of my mind, it is by no means doctrine or the law. It is just how I think, sadly enough I have to say that because there are so many opinions in this world. Now back to the subject...

SEX : (as defined by dictionary.com)

1. Either the male or female division of species, especially as differentiated with reference to the reproductive functions.
2. The sum of the structural and functional differences by which the male and female are distinguished, or the phenomena or behavior dependent on these differences.
3. The instinct or attraction drawing one sex toward another, or its manifestation in life and conduct.

So as you can see many different things go into who we are and what makes us us. So how do you define a man? How do you define a woman? We did this in class using just looking through the world's view. Then we did this from the view of the church. It is amazing how far but how similar they are. So from my point of view these are the roles.

Woman Men

-Caregiver -Provider

-Mother -Presider

-Organizer -Caregiver

-Feeler -Supporter

Okay so that is a rough sketch, but try it yourself. I tried to just use verbs. I guess for me it is more of what I want to become. How I'd like for life to pan out when Nick and I finally have OUR lives together. I guess that is a little silly but it is true. Now how did I come to those conclusion. I believe it comes from watching those in my life and taking what has worked and what hasn't. So where do you sit on the line? Me personally as you can see am very traditional.

-Hannah_

Stereotypical...

So this week in class we've been looking at our own lives from the outside. At one point my professor had us turn to a person next to us and say what "class" you are. So if you really think about it, it isn't just how much money you have or the clothes you where. It is also where you live and how you live, it's also what the color of your skin (sadly enough) or which family you were born into. So where do you rank?
For me this is hard, I am a white girl that grew up with food on the table, parents that worked hard, I go to college and I'm not fighting my way through, my parents are helping (THANKFULLY!), so I would say I am well off... however I would never pay $100 for a pair of pants and I think I have only ever owned 2 things from Hollister and one of those things was perfume. I know once I get married I won't be able to live the same lifestyle I grew up living. I guess the point I am getting to is my family is upper-middle class. Sounds weird putting it out there.

Another description that my professor had me throw out there is the definition of my culture and it needed to be more than a one word description. Here is my rough sketch of what I feel my culture is. My culture is very family oriented, that would be because that is were it was born. In my home kind words are rarely said, but when they are you know that they are truthful. I see how my culture is changing now that my life is joining another, I say kind words more often, I tease less often. I see things in a more positive light and less of a pessimistic light. The values I have are because of how I was raised. I grew up going to church learning of Christ, because of that I think about Him often and when I make decisions I turn to the Lord for His help. My culture the people I surround myself with and the holidays I celebrate are all there because of how I was raised. We get to choose which aspects to take from what we had growing up to continue with that tradition or to change to make it better for yourself.

So people what is your culture? What is your status?