Marriage

All because two people fell in love...

Very interesting discussion last week. Marriage, it so complex. I have spent my whole life dreaming and planning for it. And I am so not prepared. It is so so much more. My biggest lesson from last week that

LOVE IS NOT PERFECT

Not only is it not perfect it isn't easy. You have to look the imperfections and understanding that everything successful in life takes work. We talked a lot about making those choices now with your future spouse or spouse to make life later easier. We came up with a long list of all sorts of adjustments that will be made after marriage. We talked about how important talking is. Now this is so true talking about those things and trying to come to a decision on how those things will be handled is a huge step and helping things work in your marriage.

Now applying this to me and Nick is kind of fun but hard at the same time because men DON'T TALK! I am coming to an understanding that at a certain point you've got to keep asking questions, otherwise you will get know where. I am so glad that we discussed that in class.

My second lesson of the week

FORGET ABOUT YOU-

President Kimball

We talked about how a lot of issues in marriage are caused by selfishness. When you forget about his or her problems and think about your own. Then you see that some issues could be completely avoided because you are more aware that the issue may be your stubbornness or your lack of listening. I see that in my own relationship, on occasion Nick will do something that really rubs me the wrong way so my response is to shut off. He will spend the next hour trying to get it out of me and I will refuse to say something is bothering me, which is so dumb. If I would just tell him what the heck it is that is bothering me then he could work on making it better. What gets me sometimes is I'll ask him the small things I do that bother him and he says that there isn't anything, which is also dumb. Anyhow over time we work through it and after each little spat it improves.

So the message of last week is Love is not perfect and stop being so selfish!

So guys give me you thoughts... and help my grade and comment.

Love

In honor of Valentines... NOT. We actually talked about love last week in class. We talked about the dating and courtship and moved on through to the different types of love.

So how do I describe love now that I am an "expert" on the manner, love to me is more than a feeling it is a willingness to give of yourself without thought to another person. I also believe that love has many different meanings and feelings. It like a box of crayons. You know that you can turn to your box of crayons and find the color that you need whether it be to make a valentine card or to make a card of sympathy for a funeral. Do I love Nick the same way I love my baby sister, no but there are characteristics of each of those loves that intertwine. Just like you may use a green crayon on both cards.

I have done some of my own research last week on love. Last week I had a dear friend pass away in a motorcycle accident. I loved my boss he was very dear to me, he took care of me when I needed taking care of, he helped me when I needed help, he laughed with me when laughing was all we could do. Brother Budge was a great example of all types of love. He was madly deeply in love with his wife. He cared deeply for his children. He loved all of us that worked for him at the library. Because this past week I dealt with a lot of mourning I was given some great advice, " Death without sorrow is like life without love." We all need love. We all crave love. With Brother Budge's death I found it hard to express all my feelings even to Nick, so I turned to the Lord and in the end I found a book which quotes the scriptures a lot. In 1Corinthians 13:4-7 it is speaking of Charity but the word love is often exchanged out so that the verse reads,

"Love suffereth long, and is kind; love envieth not, love vauntheth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, us not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoice not in iniquity, but rejoice in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hoepth all things, endureth all things."

When you find your companion love makes things possible that you never thought possible. Suddenly you see the world in another light. But you've got to remember that just because you are in love doesn't mean that things will always be easy, love is an ongoing project that takes time and effort from both parties. With that being said the Lord wants us to love meaning energy put into love is worthy energy.

So those were the crazy ramblings of my mind about love. I love you have a wonderful Valentines with your sweet heart because I know I will.... Also don't forget comments. Those suckers are needed.

PS. Nickoli Blaine Angiuli Jr I love you!

Woman & Men

This week we talked a lot about gender roles. I want to say first that everything that I say is the ramblings of my mind, it is by no means doctrine or the law. It is just how I think, sadly enough I have to say that because there are so many opinions in this world. Now back to the subject...

SEX : (as defined by dictionary.com)

1. Either the male or female division of species, especially as differentiated with reference to the reproductive functions.
2. The sum of the structural and functional differences by which the male and female are distinguished, or the phenomena or behavior dependent on these differences.
3. The instinct or attraction drawing one sex toward another, or its manifestation in life and conduct.

So as you can see many different things go into who we are and what makes us us. So how do you define a man? How do you define a woman? We did this in class using just looking through the world's view. Then we did this from the view of the church. It is amazing how far but how similar they are. So from my point of view these are the roles.

Woman Men

-Caregiver -Provider

-Mother -Presider

-Organizer -Caregiver

-Feeler -Supporter

Okay so that is a rough sketch, but try it yourself. I tried to just use verbs. I guess for me it is more of what I want to become. How I'd like for life to pan out when Nick and I finally have OUR lives together. I guess that is a little silly but it is true. Now how did I come to those conclusion. I believe it comes from watching those in my life and taking what has worked and what hasn't. So where do you sit on the line? Me personally as you can see am very traditional.

-Hannah_