Parenting

She's not my baby but she looks close enough.

We talked all over the place this week but the topic was parenting. I really think the reason why we talked all over the place is because parenting has so much to do with who you become and how you parent. Our teacher gave a presentation that talked about the different reasons people do what they do and why. I found it incredibly interesting so I'm going to attach my notes. The first bullet talks about what causes the behavior; the second is the type of approach; and the third describes the actions involved in those approaches.

• Contact and Belonging
• Mistake Approach
• Undue attention seeking
• Positive Approach
• Parents need to offer it freely
• Look for opportunity being good
• Teach the child to learn how to contribute
• Helping at home
• You have to allow them to help when it is inconvenient for them to help when you really need them to help
• Thank you and a touch is way more valuable then a treat or a dollar
• You have to do it with them for them to want to do it

• Power Over Self, Environment
• Mistake Approach
• Rebellion
• Controlling others
• Positive Approach
• Responsibility
• Choices
• Age and Situation appropriate choices
• Consequences

• Protection (physical and emotional dangers)
• Mistaken Approach
• Revenge
• Positive Approach
• Assertiveness (tolerate attempts at assertiveness)
• Forgiveness (the people who hurt us the most are probably the people we love the most).

• Withdrawal (a break)
• Mistaken Approach
• Undue avoidance
• Positive Approach
• Positive time out

But besides these points my teacher gave us this quote that totally makes sense and is applicable to almost every situation in life and it is:

You can never get enough of what you don't need because what you do not need cannot satisfy you.

Think about it and it will begin to make sense to you... Well guys again I ask for your input to parenting. Where do you think you'll end up with your kids? How much do you think your parenting effects your kids?

Working Women

Even Doctors Get Into Water Fights With Their Kids.

So this can be a very touchy subject. I grew up and still have a career mom. She is very focused and has taught me value lessons about making dreams come true. She has shown me that no matter how many times you've been pushed down you can stand back up and accomplish something. My mom is a mother of 8 and a physician. So many people told her she was crazy trying to become a doctor and have a large family but she did it and continues to do it.

Now that I've got it clear that I have an amazing mom, which I do. There are trade-offs having a working mom. One being that I didn't get the experience of going on a field trip with my mom, not saying that if she could have she wouldn't have because should would have. When I was younger and I needed help on my homework I went to my big sister or my very smart little brother cause my mom was working or my dad was busy. Because my mom worked I have a great relationship with my dad, sometimes I catch myself calling my dad for something that I would typically call my mom for.

Life is different now, my mom has a little more time and makes herself available for us if we need her and my little sisters get to go on field trips with my mom. We have found a happy middle point. I will say that my mom would have gone completely insane being a stay at home mom and she is an amazing doctor. I wouldn't want a different mom.

So now you know how my life was I'll tell you how I hope it will be for my children. I hope that I can be a at home mom. I have always dreamed of it. I think that it would be very hard for me to leave my children in some else's care when I could be doing it. The way I see it my dream is/has been/will continue to be a mom and then a career woman. So that is my plan... what's yours? How was it for you growing up? Leave a comment.

Communication

So I think that all men don't know the concept of communication. Whenever I go to Nick trying to talk about something serious I always end up get frustrated. The man doesn't talk! Last time I told him that I wasn't going to live my life full of "I don't know"s. Nick just shrugged his shoulders and we went back to life. Ugh, every time we talk it gets better. I have now realized that it is going to be a while before our communication was perfect if it ever gets there. We are always honest and we do talk about the hard stuff so I think we are better off than most.

Anyhow, in class last week we talked about communication. It was all basic stuff that we've all heard before. With the exception of a few things. One that stuck out with me above all was HALT, hungry, angry, lonely, tired; if you are any of these things then it is not the time to talk. Don't ever demand to resolve something before going to bed. It is better to go to bed and talk about it in the morning, with a night's rest it may not even be a problem. Remember that in every situation everyone understands what was said in a slightly different manner. And "own" the message, don't beat around the bush.

Well I've thrown out a bunch of random thoughts. Feel free to throw out some advise and leave a comment.

MAYDAY!!!

Family crisis, it can make or break a family. Now every family experiences a crisis at one point in time or another. Now it is how you handle it that makes the difference, if you turn to each other and begin working as a team and relying family. Now if you start blaming each other and turning your back it is going to fail. I guess the best I can do to display this is to share a personal experience.

Last October my dad was involved in a horseback riding accident. In the end he ended up shattering his femur, breaking four vertebra, and nine ribs. Now my dad was in the hospital for a long long time. There was a lot of different trails that came along with that. We all came together the best we could to help the best we could. And because of that we are a stronger family. We know that we can make it through. My dad is walking now with a cane and driving again. It is was during this trial that my family has grown its strongest.

I hope that as it comes time for my family to grow it will be strong enough to make it through trials like the one with my dad.

Intimacy in Marriage

Wawhoo I get to write about sex. It is so funny, I feel like talking about sex isn't that big of a deal because I grew up knowing about it. I was exposed to it in 5th grade when we had sex education. I remember walking into class with a pad and deodorant sitting on my desk. From then on it wasn't a big deal. I could talk to my sisters or my friends about it and if there was an important question I could turn to my mom. It never really phased me. It surprises me when I get asked by different people different things that I have learned about sex. What it all comes down to is that I have known from a very early age that sex is good in marriage, not before.

Now I am not judging or saying you are a horrible person if you didn't wait till marriage, that isn't the case. This what I believe to be true. My book states all these benefits of waiting, studies have been done proving that if you wait sex is better and occurs more often than if you don't. You are less likely to have a divorce... too bad people don't hear about these things in high school. Well that is my take on that. My marriage isn't far away and I am like every other person I can't wait to share myself completely with the man of my dreams!

Don't forget comments.

... Oh and this is from the week before last, I guess I forgot to post it.